I had my six week postpartum exam today. I was cleared to enjoy any activities I wish to enjoy. There was something about my appointment that made me slightly emotional, but I held my tears back and just took a deep breath. Discussing my delivery was tough. You may ask me, Why? and I may ask you, Why? I don’t have a definitive answer as to why, but I sit here and ponder was it because my delivery was nothing like I had intended? I keep telling myself that in the end I have this BEAUTIFUL HEALTHY baby and to just put the rest behind me. My midwife said today, the birth story will always be a part of you for the rest of your life, so I just took that as a polite way of her saying ‘look at the bright side’.
I have learned a few things about myself during these times. The first one, “Let go, and Let God”. He has everything planned and despite what I had planned, he had a better one. I am always a planner, maybe I should step back just a bit. Secondly, Patience. I used to be somewhat impatient, but something through this has given me an abundance of it that I never had before. I’ll take it. You definitely need it going through pregnancy and having a child.
This week I have missed being pregnant (except for this Florida heat). I, for the most part, was happy and felt good during pregnancy and I miss that. When I say happy, it is a different kind of happy that I can’t explain (hopefully other postpartum moms would agree). This is also my last week of maternity leave and I will be starting a NEW job on Monday. I am looking forward to starting a new job because while I am adapting to my office, I wont (hopefully) be stressing out about Samantha being at daycare. I will have other stuff to focus on and I am super duper excited I don’t have to deal with my rude co-workers any longer. .::sigh::.
I made one delicious cheesecake, I can’t wait to share. Keep an eye out !